Sarah M. KippSarah M. Kipp

Archives for May 2013

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Being Radically Responsible

“I’m not connecting well with this person,” I said to a friend. “I need to get a handle on it because I can tell it is affecting how I show up and interact during meetings and in casual interactions. I am opting for less and less contact and, while I am not being rude, I am also not being particularly friendly.”

My friend listened for a while, allowing me the space to sort out what was at the root of the issue, and then spoke. “You have to talk with this person. You know that, right?”

Not the answer I wanted to hear. Yes, of course, I knew that. I train other people in situations like this. I am also human and sometimes [Read more…] about Being Radically Responsible

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Looking for the Beauty

Last week, I participated at the District level of the Toastmasters International Speech Contest. For people affiliated with Toastmasters, the International Speech Contest is the Olympics of public speaking. In March, over 30,000 people deliver seven-minute speeches in their home clubs around the world. The winners of those home club contests advance to the Area level, and if they place first again, to the Division level. Those who make it through the Division round go on to the District level. In my District, seven of us had the opportunity to deliver our speech at the District Conference. One of us was chosen to deliver a speech at the semi-finals held at the Toastmasters International Convention this summer in Cincinnati, OH.

As the 2005 World Champions of Speaking pointed out last weekend, a seven-minute speech is a very different experience than giving a keynote address for twenty, thirty, or ninety minutes. Speaking for seven minutes is like shooting an arrow at a target. [Read more…] about Looking for the Beauty

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Gifts

I wrote this poem of gratitude for Hannah, my mother-in-law, in 2002. Many aspects of our life and family structure have changed through the years, yet the love and appreciation that inspired this poem are as strong as ever. In honor of all the love and relationships that are celebrated today, I share this poem with you.

Gifts

Raised to care passionately

Respects life

Teases and laughs

Responsibly dedicated

Uniquely wonderful

None other compares

From your womb to this home

 

Acceptance

of this girl he brought home

As if I were your own

Sincere love

Never making me feel I should be

more than I am

Embracing me

Bringing me into your family

 

Space

to live our own lives

make our own mistakes

believe we know what we are doing

even when we do not

To be part of a whole

and yet separate

Celebrating our new family unit

in our own way

and with you

 

Tolerance

of my quirks

of our needs

requests

wishes

 

Love

To be present

but never stifling

Helpful and eager

but never intrusive

Caring and supportive

and always so gentle

 

You worry about the kind of mother-in-law you are

I worry about the kind of daughter-in-law I am

You are just right

I strive to be better

You are all I need

and I am so grateful to have

this family

you

– Sarah M. Kipp 2002

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Stink Grumpy and Mama Grump II: How to Get Moving When We Just Don’t Wanna

Most people will agree that if you want to get something done, counting on motivation alone is not enough. Even when we are working on something we love, there are days when we do not feel like showing up. There are times when something else–or everything else–will feel more important than what we committed to do. Anne Lamott’s recent Facebook post on May 1, 2013 traveled around this week reminding us that “There is no good time to write. It will never be easier. If you won’t find an hour a day now, you won’t find it then.” Her writing, as always, is a good read, and she both calls us to action and gives us the first steps to get going.

Before I began writing this, I sat down with my two young daughters to map out our day. There were several jobs that each one of us needed to do and did not want to do. There were other things we preferred to be doing. To say we had ‘an absence of motivation’ would be a gross understatement of our actual state. Both children sprawled out in front of me like a big life lesson.

What do I believe works best when we are in full-blown resistance or avoidance? Three things rise to the top and survive the rigor of quality assurance tests.

1) Add humor immediately. I used to think that reviewing ‘why’ I had committed to something was the most important step. When a person is in resistance though, even the most noble intention and the most inspiring call to action sound like utter hogwash. My daughter did not need to review the many reasons she needed to take a shower before heading out to socialize tonight. She knows all about the importance of hygiene, and still did not want to shower. Instead, I asked if I could break our family rule of no name calling, and wrote an impromptu rap piece for her on the staircase called “Stink Grumpy and Mama Grump II.” When I added chest thumping and pathetic dance moves, the tone shifted and we began to move forward.

[Read more…] about Stink Grumpy and Mama Grump II: How to Get Moving When We Just Don’t Wanna