Sarah M. KippSarah M. Kipp

Relationships

By

Baby Steps

Yesterday I held a newborn baby in my arms. Just shy of eight pounds in weight, and only forty-eight hours old, she lay sleeping in my arms. She rested in complete peace, relying on us to provide everything she needed to keep her tiny body comfortable and safe.

Everything else left my mind. In that moment, nothing was more pressing or more needed than breathing in that baby’s beauty and grace. Time stopped as I studied her little nose and felt her tiny back rise and fall with each breath.

On the way home from our visit, we made an unexpected stop to visit a relative who has been recovering from an injury. We touched beautiful yarn, hugged, laughed, and breathed in the joy of being together. Again, everything else left my mind, creating space to be fully in the moment of connection.

Some of my clients and friends tell me they have a hard time meditating. “My brain jumps around too much.” “I can’t focus.” “I like the idea of meditating, but it’s too hard for me.” While a meditation practice can help us become more present in our lives, our life can also become one big meditation practice. We get to choose where we look, for how long, and what level of meditation we want to experience. If vibrant sunsets, spring blossoms, and Great Dane hugs barely fit in with all the other racing thoughts, then hold a newborn. Reach out and touch the hand of someone who is healing, or dying, or learning to walk again for a whole new part of their path in life. Be with them. Listen. Breathe in peace, breathe out peace. Repeat.

Sometimes I leap, and sometimes I take baby steps toward seeing the miracle of each moment. Of one thing I am sure–our joy lives in being able to see the beauty and miracle of these moments as easily as we breathe in, breathe out.

Baby

By

Mentoring

In education and business, we often see the term ‘mentor’ used in specific, designed ways. New teachers are assigned to a mentor teacher and are required to meet with this person for a certain number of hours throughout the year. Law firms and businesses have mentoring programs that pair senior executives with new partners.

However, many people step into the role of mentor without any formal invitation or label. Often the people who are most effective, connected, and trusted in their role as leader, supervisor, or manager are also serving as great mentors. When we see employees who are engaged, empowered, and appreciative of those from whom they take direction, we are often looking at the evidence of great mentoring in action.

Some people become, with experience, fantastic mentors over time. Other leaders benefit from additional training in how to be a mentor. When we coach and train people who are working to improve their mentorship skills, we start with these questions: What makes a person a great mentor? What inspires people to reach out and connect with someone? How does a mentor best convey the wisdom and life experience a new hire needs?   [Read more…] about Mentoring

By

Grace and Grief

Over the past several years, I have been on both sides of the grieving process. I have been the person grieving the loss of a loved one. I have been touched and loved by those who knew how best to support me through the days, months, and years of grief. I have also been the close friend, relative, and distant acquaintance to others who were navigating the uncharted waters of grief. How we communicate with someone who is grieving directly relates to how well-supported the grieving person feels. I use these five reminders to help me stay present and supportive when someone I know and love has experienced a loss.

 

Make the call. [Read more…] about Grace and Grief

By

Crockpot Relationships

Are you using a flash-fryer or a crockpot to connect with people? If you don’t know the difference, you might have difficulty enjoying the meals—and the kinds of relationships—you really want in your life. Let’s be clear. French fries and pot roasts are both delicious, but they are not the same.

If you say you are looking for pot roast style connections in your life, but you keep driving through McDonald’s to order fries, you might find yourself eating an extra helping of frustration. This is not rocket science. If you throw all the pieces of your meal in a large frying pan with a quart of oil and cook it on high for ten minutes, do not expect to sit down to the equivalent of a savory pot roast at the end. In most areas of life, the richness of flavor emerges over time. [Read more…] about Crockpot Relationships

By

Unexpected Gifts

A few years ago, my daughter opened one of her holiday gifts from us and burst into tears. “It’s not the right one!” she wailed. The crying continued for a while. I experienced my own disappointment. I want my kids to be gracious in both giving and receiving gifts. Watching her behavior that night reminded me of spoiled Nellie on Little House on the Prairie and made me question how well I was doing at this parenting job.

When the intensity of the moment finally passed, we talked as a family about what had happened. I learned more about my daughter and myself. She explained in her own way that her disappointment stemmed not from the fact that she hadn’t received the gift that she had wanted. She understood that sometimes you get things you wish for and sometimes you don’t. She was upset because she believed she was definitely getting what she wanted, and then found out that what she received was different than what she had expected. I learned that opening presents was not the fun activity I thought it would be for my daughter. Given the option, she preferred to know clearly what she was and was not receiving so she would know what to expect and there would be no surprises.

Hmmm. Sound familiar? As adults, how graciously do we deal with outcomes in life that look different than the way we believed something was going to go? When we don’t get the promotion we believed we were slated to receive, when we do get the divorce we never planned to need, when a young loved one is diagnosed with a serious illness despite living a healthy lifestyle, how gracious are we in our response to the situation? It’s not that we don’t believe that these things occur. We get upset from believing things were going to be one way, and then experiencing a radical change in plans that we could not control.
[Read more…] about Unexpected Gifts